August 19, 2026
Getting it together
Snap out of it
Good morning. (It actually is morning right now. Sometimes I just say this and it means nothing because it could very well be 3 p.m. But this time it’s 11:38 a.m., and I’m at Molasses Books, waiting for my cappuccino.)
Recently, I came to the realization that I am entering my typical oscillating phase of craving complete isolation, begging for total solitude. I think this is just a six month cycle that I’m in, a biannual occurrence. Last year around this time, I went home and hunkered down on the LSAT finally, which felt incredible. Six months ago, I took shrooms and then vanished into a cloud that only the isolation of being in China, wordless and penniless, could resolve. (I guess, then, we can be grateful that I’m going to China in a little more than a month again.)
I took the B38 bus here. I’m going to pick up lunch and then see Colin after this. We’re going to eat and then tan and read and write. It’s going to be fabulous. And then I’m going to go pick up “Dracula” from Lona and my umbrella. And then I’m going to go sit somewhere else and write some more, maybe WSP? Maybe I’ll go to 8th Street Wine Cellar early and have a glass while I read and wait for Anthony and Mare. Tomorrow, I’m going to start out at this Cambodian cafe I’ve been meaning to go to, then get myself some Modern Bread and Bagel, and then hang out at the Met for a while. I’ll journal and draw and read there. It’s going to be fabulous.
I am so lucky! My life is very full. I’m having my needed moments of solitude where I can get them. Sometimes, you just have to knock some sense back into yourself. Sometimes, you can’t just be selfish and throw a tantrum and insist that you want to be alone. Sometimes, you need to grow the fuck up. And then you realize you are happier this way!
Today is sunny. Tomorrow is rainy. It’s going to be okay because I’m going to have my umbrella.
I have tasks, actually, and suddenly I feel like I’m running out of time each day to do what I want before I leave. I love New York! So much! I need to buy gifts for my family. What should I get people? My cousins are easy to buy things for because I think that they will appreciate anything cute. My aunt is a little harder, but maybe she will like a New York mug or something like that. My other aunt… she does have these displays in her apartment of her travels, so maybe if I can find something nice like that. I’ll check out the Met gift shop tomorrow.